4 Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Start Loving Yourself Better

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Today, we welcome Emotional Intelligence Expert, Chenoa Maxwell as a guest author on the Bulletproof Blog. Founder of the Live Limitlessly practice, Chenoa rose from the darkness of attempted suicide as a teenager to her own show on the Oprah Winfrey Network. Chenoa now helps celebrities, Fortune 500 companies and people around the world live a limitless life.You can listen to her chat with Bulletproof Founder Dave Asprey on this episode of Bulletproof Radio(iTunes). 

No one wants to admit that they’ve fallen out of love with themselves. But for most of us there have been times when love for self has lost its way.

In our fast-paced lifestyle, it is highly common for you to put everrrrrrybody and everrrrrrrything else before your own needs. 

You grind hard, over-schedule yourself, max-out your own bandwidth, eat poorly, neglect your needs or just make excuse after excuse about why you just don’t have enough time to give yourself the self-love needed to keep you functioning optimally and smiling often.

Consequently, parts of you slip away and before you know it, you begin to struggle with your relationships and feelings of happiness, and self-doubt creeps in. 

Loss of self-love happens so gradually that you rarely recognize the dissolution of it. Read on to learn about the signs of low self-esteem and ways that you can start to love yourself better.

Signs of low self-esteem

It stands to reason that when self-love is off-balance, so is your life, and symptoms of low-self esteem arise. These include:

  • Defensiveness
  • Fear
  • Unfulfilling relationships
  • Depression
  • Hypersensitivity
  • Feeling unlovable

Psychologists have shown that when self-esteem is low, negatives have much more power over you than positives. You are motivated more by the desire to avoid pain than to experience joy. Hence, if you do not carve out the appropriate amount of time to nurture yourself, then your vitality, wellness, self-worth and lovability is significantly diminished.

If you’ve fallen out of love with yourself — don’t sweat it. When you set the intention to love yourself a little more each day, it’s amazing how you will start to feel better.

The key to starting the process is to recognize that self-love is a seed that grows if you water it and that it is a constant action that you must make daily.

4 ways to build self-love

1. Nourish yourself and your core desires daily 

You will love yourself more when you commit to taking better care of your core needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves, their minds, and spirits daily through wellness activities like getting enough rest, eating foods that fuel their brain and body, exercise, mindfulness, and healthy social interactions.

2. Set healthy boundaries

You’ll love yourself more when you set time to replenish yourself and focus on nurturing your long-term goals by saying, “No” to activities or people that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually.

3. Catch and replace negative self-talk

Self-deprecation, comparison, and anxious thoughts about the future or regrets about the past can rule your mind. To lessen these often incessant thoughts, start to take notice of them. When you have a negative thought, notice it, and turn it around into a positive one.

4. Forgive yourself and release old judgements

5 Health Benefits of Floating_Floating helps with stress management

Maybe you’re really hard on yourself. You’ve made choices in the past that you are ashamed of, or that you regret.  Learn from them, forgive yourself, and move forward. These poor choices do not make you a bad person, nor do they get you stuck in a cycle of negative choices or reactions. Start shifting into your empowered self by releasing any old judgments and stories of who you were in the past. Then commit to being your better self by making the following declaration: “Today, I  choose to forgive myself and love myself unconditionally.”

Remember, love creates more love, and by choosing to love yourself daily, every other person you come in contact with is positively impacted. 

Join Live Limitlessly in Bali this October for The Bali Experience, an intimate 6-day immersive co-ed experience designed to Reset and Re-Awaken New Dimensions of Self & Spirit.

There is no better time to begin than now. Love starts here!  

Read next: What’s Behind the Mask? Ways to Discover Your True Self 

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